Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
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