I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Randomize
