I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
