At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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