your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
