be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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