what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
