I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
