there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
