What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize