Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
