So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
she smelled like a LAN party
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
