If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
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The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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