Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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