We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
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Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
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I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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