I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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