he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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