Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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