"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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