There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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