He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
