I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
