If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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