I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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