i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
