Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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