Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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