You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
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