Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize