I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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