he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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