Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
