i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
