Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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