Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
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Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
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She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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