Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
