Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
