Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
