Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
