I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
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I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
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just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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