you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
