Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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