There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
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i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
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After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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