if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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