I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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