the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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