The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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