Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Randomize
