Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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