Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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