I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
