I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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