Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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